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Articles on this Page
- 03/10/14--19:40: _INXS Prevent Pharre...
- 03/11/14--20:13: _AFL umpires to oper...
- 03/13/14--18:06: _F1 Hits Melbourne t...
- 03/15/14--19:07: _Close Calls 2014
- 03/16/14--19:28: _British couple who ...
- 03/18/14--20:10: _Rolling Stones post...
- 03/19/14--19:48: _Kylie vamps it to t...
- 03/23/14--20:15: _Sarah Michelle Gell...
- 03/24/14--12:06: _Kevin Bacon cuts lo...
- 03/24/14--17:36: _Air and Sea search ...
- 03/25/14--17:21: _Gwyneth Paltrow and...
- 03/26/14--19:38: _Monster rat terrori...
- 03/30/14--18:06: _SNICKERS TEAMS UP W...
- 04/01/14--18:21: _Courtney Love Now W...
- 03/31/14--19:02: _Crocodile Dundee pu...
- 04/01/14--19:11: _Palmerston tops NT ...
- 04/02/14--19:50: _Should childless Au...
- 04/02/14--19:55: _SOME OF THE WORST S...
- 04/07/14--13:55: _Dangerous Jobs
- 04/08/14--18:14: _Kim Kardashian Show...
- 03/10/14--19:40: INXS Prevent Pharrell From Scoring Number One Chart Spot
- 03/13/14--18:06: F1 Hits Melbourne this weekend
- 03/15/14--19:07: Close Calls 2014
- 03/18/14--20:10: Rolling Stones postpone Aussie/NZ gigs
- 03/19/14--19:48: Kylie vamps it to the max
- 03/23/14--20:15: Sarah Michelle Gellar DISLIKES Kimye Vogue Cover
- 03/24/14--12:06: Kevin Bacon cuts loose on 30th Anniversary of Footloose
- 03/24/14--17:36: Air and Sea search suspended
- 03/25/14--17:21: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin SPLIT
- 03/26/14--19:38: Monster rat terrorises family
- 03/30/14--18:06: SNICKERS TEAMS UP WITH AUSSIE BUILDERS FOR NEW AD
- 04/01/14--18:21: Courtney Love Now Wants a Nirvana Musical
- 03/31/14--19:02: Crocodile Dundee pub sold
- 04/01/14--19:11: Palmerston tops NT bogan hunt
- 04/02/14--19:50: Should childless Aussies fork out extra for families
- 04/02/14--19:55: SOME OF THE WORST SONG LYRICS OF ALL TIME
- 04/07/14--13:55: Dangerous Jobs
- 04/08/14--18:14: Kim Kardashian Shows Off Some Serious Junk-In-The-Trunk
Not even the all-conquering Pharrell Williams could knock Aussie rock veterans INXS from the top spot on the ARIA Albums Chart this week, as that band's The Very Best collection just pips out Williams' G I R L, hotly tipped to be one of the biggest pop albums of 2014.
Williams has managed to hold onto the top spot on the singles charts though, with his smash hit Happy enjoying its ninth week in the number one position. It is unlikely he will be moved from there next week as well, given he kicks off his Australian tour as part of the Future Music Festival this weekend. Sales have slowed for INXS singles, the classic Never Tear Us Apart plunging 20 positions to number 35 this week, Need You Tonight dropping from number 36 to number 69 and six of their songs have dropped out of the top 100 completely. But INXS' Live Baby Live remains the number one music DVD.
AFL umpires will operate in specialist teams through the first three rounds of the season in a bid to accelerate the development and improve the consistency of umpiring.
The trial will see teams of three comprised of one senior umpire, one of intermediate experience and one junior umpire — sharing the first three rounds of the season.
AFL field umpires coach Hayden Kennedy said the trial — inspired by a similar model used in the NFL — was introduced to achieve greater consistency in decision making.
“We really want to develop our younger guys, so by doing it this way it gives us the opportunity to put some of the younger, developing umpires with some of the older ones and put them out into some of the bigger games so there is some real mentoring going on,” Kennedy told AFL.com.au.
“Older umpires can really lead the younger ones and [they can] work as a real team to get better performance in the next week or the week after.”
The 2014 season signifies the start of a new era for umpiring with former Richmond player Wayne Campbell taking over the top job from Jeff Gieschen, who held the position for 14 years.
Have you joined the Mix 1049 Tipping competition yet? $2000 for seasons winner and $50 a week given away to a random tipster…..click HERE
When the "gentlemen" start their engines this weekend at the Albert Park race circuit, regular protesters of the Melbourne Grand Prix will have a reason, even if slight, to rejoice. For the first time in 25 years, turbocharged 1.6-litre V6 engines have replaced the V10s and V8s that have provided the signature scream of formula one engines since the GP arrived in Melbourne in 1996.
Instead the high-tech engines, while still incredibly, unbelievably loud, will emit a lower-frequency growl, less of an assault on the ears than previous years.
One of the richest sporting events in Australia, the Formula One Grand Prix officially kicks off on Friday with two practise sessions, qualifying laps on Saturday and the big race on Sunday, the world's fastest drivers battling it out over of 58 laps, each of which features 16 turns.
As the first round of the season, the Melbourne Grand Prix holds a special place on the formula one calendar, as the new championship battle begins at Albert Park among some of the worlds richest sporting teams.
An Australian Grand Prix spokeswoman said ticket sales were extremely strong for the 2014 event and attendance at the 2013 Australian Grand Prix weekend was 323,000 making it one of the most attended of the year across the world's circuits.
Sunday's twilight start time of 5pm is coordinated to ensure the race can be televised into Europe from about 7am Sunday morning.
First used in 1996, the 5.3 km Albert Park street circuit was created specifically to usurp the Adelaide Grand Prix.
The legendary Michael Schumacher - who is currently on life support as a result of a head injury sustained in a skiing accident - holds the Melbourne Grand Prix lap record, with a time of one minute, 24.125 seconds, which was set in 2004.
Pit bosses will need to have wet weather, fully treaded tyres at the ready with rain forecast for both Saturday and Sunday.
Qualifying for the big race was delayed until the Sunday at Albert Park in 2013 for the first time, with rain washing out most of the qualifying sessions the previous day.
Australian F1 fans may lament the absence of driver Mark Webber - who retired at the endo f the 2013 season - but can look forward to his replacement at Red Bull, fellow Australian, Perth driver Daniel Ricciardo, who will take over in the Red Bull No.2.
A podium finish is unlikely for the young driver, however, with Red Bull plagued through the off-season with ongoing engine troubles.
And fans will be curious to see whether the relationship between Ricciardo and teammate, Sebastian Vettel, will replicate the intense rivalry that Webber and Vettel shared on and off the track.
Set against the high-octane thrills and spills of the massive motor sporting event is the undercurrent of uncertainty hanging over the future of the race in Melbourne, with Grand Prix big-wig Bernie Ecclestone facing bribery charges in Germany (to the tune of $44 million) and negotiations - headed by chairman of the Australian Grand Prix Corporation, 74-year-old Ron Walker - hanging on a knife's edge.
The F1 is contracted to Melbourne until 2015 and Victorian taxpayers have paid a high price to stage the event.
Current negotiations between Ecclestone and the Australian Grand Prix Corporation have been ongoing for some time.
At the Grand Prix launch this week, Mr Walker tried to distance himself from the Ecclestone scandal and admitted the negotiations were at a delicate juncture.
"They're his issues not ours, we're negotiating directly with his team and we'll get a successful outcome but we're not rushing anything, we're not blinking," he said.
Premier Denis Napthine told the ABC this week, that he has faith in Mr Walker's "tough" negotiation skills.
"Those negotiations have been going on some time and the fact they've been going on for some time indicates that we're playing a very tough game," he said.
Australian Grand Prix, Albert Park Racing Circuit
Friday March 14
Practice 1: 12.30pm – 2pm (11am – 12.30pm NT time)
Practice 2: 4.30pm – 6pm (3 – 4.30pm NT)
Saturday March 15
Practice 3: 2pm – 3pm (12.30 – 1.30pm NT)
Qualifying: 5pm (3.30pm NT)
Sunday March 16
Race: 5pm (3.30pm NT time)
With the luck of the Irish on their side here’s a 7 minute compilation of some of this year’s close shaves….so far.
Have a happy St Patrick’s Day. Greg & Ilaria
Most newlyweds whisk themselves away to a beach, or retreat to a luxurious hotel room. But Kat and Steve Turner took a slightly different approach. After tying the knot in April 2012 in New Zealand they embarked on a two-year honeymoon, riding 20,000 miles around the globe on a tandem.
Yesterday, the intrepid couple finally set foot on British soil after travelling 674 days through rainforests, deserts, floods and even earthquakes.
Their journey took them through New Zealand, Australia, Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, China, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Turkey, Greece, Italy and France. Oh…forgot to mention Mrs Turner had never ridden a bike before.
Their mammoth 30,500km route, raising money for development charity Practical Action, saw them climbing a total elevation of 249,365m - the equivalent of Everest 28 times.
Mr Turner, 34, suffered a terrible episode of heat exhaustion in Cambodia and Kat fractured her knee-cap after they hit a railway track in the Australian Outback.
They were in the eastern Chinese town of Dingxi when an earthquake hit, killing 95 people in July last year, and were regularly challenged by officials in the strict country.
Speaking during the trip, Steve said Kyrgyzstan was the highlight. The teacher said: 'It was a great experience because we didn't know what to expect as we'd never heard of it before and couldn't even spell it.
The mountains were stunning, the nomadic people on horseback were friendly, it was interesting to see yurts being packed up for the winter and we spent peaceful nights camping under the stars. 'The sight of us two on our huge tandem and trailer makes people laugh. People are excited to talk to us about our trip. 'We've been completely taken aback by the many acts of kindness we have received, from being handed a chocolate bar or cold drink out of the window of a passing vehicle, to being warmly welcomed into the homes of strangers and fed wonderful meal.
The Rolling Stones have postponed all scheduled shows for their tour of Australia and New Zealand following the death of L’Wren Scott.
The Rolling Stones are planning to reschedule these shows at a later date. Frontier Touring advise ticket holders to hold on to their tickets until further notice.
Mick Jagger posted a heartfelt statement on his Facebook page this morning, expressing his confusion and pain.
“I am still struggling to understand how my lover and best friend could end her life in this tragic way”, he wrote.
“We spent many wonderful years together and had made a great life for ourselves. She had great presence and her talent was much admired, not least by me. I have been touched by the tributes that people have paid to her, and also the personal messages of support that I have received. I will never forget her.”
For help or information, call Lifeline, 131 114, or visit Beyond Blue
Move over Olivia Newton-John with her 1980’s No.1. hit ‘Physical’. Kylie Minogue OBE has stunned her fans by releasing an X-rated new promo in which she writhes with four women during a "sex workout". The Australian pop star unveiled a video for her new single Sexercize.
It shows the Spinning Around star wearing a white leotard and red high-heeled shoes as she performs a series of suggestive exercise routines with an inflatable gym ball and on a pommel horse. She is then shown wearing a flesh-coloured leotard while licking beads of sweat off a similarly-dressed model before receiving a saucy massage from four other women as the promo ends.
Minogue is also celebrating the release of the track by launching a Sexercize.tv website on Wednesday (19/3/14), featuring several more interpretations of the raunchy song, including "Kylie's own personal content".
See the 45 yr old do her thing right here. For more entertainment news check out Ilaria with ‘The Whip’ weekdays at 6.40 / 7.40 / 8.40am.
Sarah Michelle Gellar blasted Vogue for featuring Kim Kardashian and Kanye West on its April cover.
The actress voiced her disapproval of the controversial move, tweeting, "Well...I guess I'm canceling my Vogue subscription. Who is with me???"
Apparently a lot of people. Fashion blogger Bryanboy wrote: "Twenty four years of loyalty to American Vogue and then this." Entertainment journalist Nikki Finke also tweeted, "I'm loving the big backlash aimed at [Vogue editor] Anna Wintour for putting Kim Kardashian on Vogue cover. Issue should come with barf bag."
Wintour defended the cover, saying, it "is both charming and touching." She added that "it was...entirely our idea to do it; you may have read that Kanye begged me to put his fiancée on Vogue’s cover. He did nothing of the sort."
Thirty years ago, the title song from "Footloose" urged everyone to "kick off your Sunday shoes" and start dancin'. On last Friday night's "Tonight Show," that film's star, Kevin Bacon, proved the message is just as powerful today as then.
Host Jimmy Fallon started the whole thing. "I should quickly mention that dancing has been outlawed here at 'The Tonight Show,'" he told his audience, echoing one of the film's key plot points. "It's a bummer, but rules are rules."
But Bacon, who now stars in Fox's "The Following," wasn't having any of that. "This is 'The Tonight Show,'" he said, sitting in his dressing room. "There has to be dancing." He pulled out a cassette tape of one of the film's other tunes, "Never," took a puff from a cigarette, drank a swig of beer and hurled the bottle at the wall.
Then, echoing a big dance scene from the film, he tripped down the 30 Rock hallways, pulled some gymnastic moves (perhaps a stunt double was involved) and changed out of his gray sweats into a maroon tux. As the "Footloose" theme kicked off, Bacon shouted to a crowd of admirers, "Let's dance!"
Then the party really got started, as the group grooved all the way onto the "Tonight" set, finishing up in a rain of confetti. The video of the routine already has over 7 million hits on YouTube.
Naturally, Fallon tweeted out a link to the video and at least one celebrity agreed: Justin Timberlake, who retweeted the link and called it the "BEST THING EVER."
THE Australian Maritime Safety Authority has suspended the air and sea search for MH370 today due to bad weather.
AMSA released an update this morning, “Due to rough seas, HMAS Success departed the search area early this morning and is now in transit south of the search area until seas abate. A sea state ranging between 7 to 8 is forecast today with waves up to two metres and an associated swell of up to four metres.”
“The area is also forecast to experience strong gale force winds of up to 80kmh, periods of heavy rain, and low cloud with a ceiling between 200 and 500 feet.”
AMSA said conducting the search in such conditions would be hazardous and pose a risk to crews.
Thanks to AFP, an infographic on the passengers and crew aboard MH370. Conspiracy theories have been rife for the past week regarding the employees of Freescale Semiconductor, who make stealth equipment for aircraft. These are purely conspiracy theories, and nothing more should be read into them until the exact cause of MH370's disappearance has been found.
If this morning's news is correct, which I'd suggest it is, RIP to those onboard, and condolences to those involved. - Breakfast with Greg & Ilaria
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin Separating After 10 Years of Marriage.
The two made the announcement on the actress' website, Goop with a post titled, "Conscious Uncoupling."
Their statement read, "It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate."
The famous duo added, "We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner."
The two have been married for over ten years and have two children together, Apple Martin and Moses Martin.
Image source: www.hollywoodreporter.com
A Swedish family suffered the shock of a lifetime when they discovered that the 'kitchen mouse' that had their cat running around in circles was in fact a gigantic monster rat. The Bengtsson-Korsås family first noticed something was wrong when their cat Enok refused to enter the kitchen in their flat in Solna, north-west Stockholm.
The rat measured 38 cms (15 inches), without its tail, and had made it into the family’s flat by gnawing a tunnel between a wooden panel and concrete.
Exterminators were called in and placed industry-sized traps to catch the rat, and less than a day later one of them snapped.
However, when the family checked, the trap was gone. The rat was so powerful that it had carried the trap with it, snapped around its neck.
‘It didn’t die when it went into the trap, but scurried away. It went underneath a wooden plant, where it got stuck and choked itself to death,’ Mr Bengtsson-Korsås said.
‘It was the biggest rat I have ever seen, and it looked like it was in good shape as the fur was nice,’ he added.
The tongue-in-cheek commercial asks viewers: “What happens when Aussie builders aren’t themselves?” and ends with “you’re not you when you’re hungry”.
The commercial is receiving a mixed response on social media, with plenty labelling it “sexist”, while others are calling it “the best thing they’ve seen in a while”.
so the point of that snickers ad is that they aren’t themselves i.e nice, & they should have a snickers to become themselves i.e disgusting?
3:13 PM - 26 Mar 2014
Mason Krollig @MasonKrollig
Not sure the new @SNICKERS ad is as subversive or clever as it initially appears to be. What's the message - all tradies are misogynists?
2:54 PM - 26 Mar 2014
Whether it will sell chocolate bars or not, who knows? We just love the priceless line from one bold worker to a flattered female: “I appreciate your appearance is just one aspect of who you are.”
The classic ad may even be better than this pearler, which is still making its way to our screens after four years.
Courtney Love says she now wants a Nivana musical to happen. There was talk in 2012 about a musical about the band, and Kurt Cobain and Love's life together, but the Hole singer ended up shooting that down rather quickly.
Apparently she's had a change of heart, because in a new interview for NME to mark 20 years since Cobain's death, Love says, "After being swarmed by tons of Nirvana fanmail and social media posts pushing for a musical to become a reality, both Frances [Bean Cobain] and I have thought long and hard, and agreed that if we can reach up to the highest shelf and select a team of the greatest and most respected writers, producers and directors, then a Broadway musical is very likely to happen."
Love adds, "There would have to be a story, and a great story, one that hasn't been told before. I would devote countless hours with an A-team to create a project that reflects Kurt in the most respectful but honest way possible, so that his story, his music and his legacy can be resurrected on stage for not only the world to see, but more importantly for our daughter to see. I know her father's spirit will be on that stage, and sitting in that theater with her will be the most emotional experience of our lives."
Don't hold your breath for this one, though. The last we heard about Courtney's relationship with Frances Bean came in November, when Courtney sued her old lawyer for driving a wedge between them. And since Frances, not Courtney, controls the publicity rights to Kurt's name and image, the two would have to make nice before this idea could move forward.
THE pub made famous as the watering hole of Mick "Crocodile'' Dundee has been sold.
The Walkabout Creek Hotel at McKinlay, made famous in the movie Crocodile Dundee , has been bought by Frank and Debbie Wust who fell in love with the pub en route to the Boulia camel races.
"We were visiting a friend in Boulia, who previously owned an outback hotel himself, and on the way home we stopped at the Walkabout Creek Hotel and the rest is history,'' said Mr Wust, a miner at the Callide Mine, south-west of Gladstone. "Most people buy Harleys when they have a midlife crisis, but we thought we'd buy an outback pub.''
No price for the sale has been disclosed however marketing agents Raine and Horne said it was a "significant six-figure sum''.
The seller, publican Paul Collins, had owned the hotel for 28 years. The pub was built in 1900 as the Federal Hotel. It was shifted from its original location about 20 years ago after the redirection of the Matilda Highway.
"The pub was renovated at the time, however the character depicted in the Crocodile Dundee movie was maintained,'' said sales agent, Nathan Henderson, Raine and Horne Ingham and Beaches.
Tasmania is the bogan capital of Australia and if you're seeking bogans in the ACT look no further than the nation's parliament.
These are just some of the findings to come out of a “bogan odyssey” completed by self-proclaimed boganologist Paul Fenech.
With the other two members of his crack team, Shazza (Elle Dawe) and Kev the Kiwi (Kevin Taumata), who will be familiar from the controversial SBS series Housos, Fenech has visited every state and Territory for a new 7Mate series called Bogan Hunters.
“There are plenty of places in each state,” he says. “Start in the centre of a city and drive for about 35 minutes minimum into the suburbs and you will find a bogan area.
In the course of his fieldwork, Fenech, who starred as Franky Falzoni in Housos, has become an expert in recognising his quarry.
“The haircut is most likely a mullet or a shaved mullet,” he says. “Home-done tattoos are very important and a missing tooth is a likely indicator. Look for flannelette, ugg boots and thongs and if there is an alcoholic beverage to complete the whole ensemble then you've got yourself a bogan.”
Of particular interest to the bogan hunters are the mating rituals, described by Fenech as “a quick process”. He also uncovered some touching tales in the course of his travels. “We met one girl in Adelaide who, despite the fact she stabbed her partner with her mulling scissors, they are still a couple,” he says. “That's bogan love right there.”
And while there are no plans at present to show Bogan Hunters overseas, Fenech is unapologetic about the image of Australia presented by the “reality show”.
“If some people look at it and go, 'Jesus, is this what Australia's like? Oh, my god.' Well, don't shoot the messenger. This is the bogan world. Like it or love it. It exists.
“If I was thinking about a holiday in Australia and I saw this, I'd probably be scared. If I was in Canada I think I'd maybe go to Hawaii instead.”
A spokeswoman for Seven said a final date has yet to be set for the show, but confirmed it would go to air in May.
Bogan habitat around the country, according to “Boganologist” Paul Fenech:
Sydney: “A toss-up between Mount Druitt and Campbelltown”
Western Australia: Rockingham
ACT: “Let's face it, parliament has got the best bogans in the country”.
The idea stems from a ludicrous opinion from American journalist Reihan Salam, who believes childless citizens should pay more taxes, while those with kids should pay less. Salam reckons that in order to give working families a fair go, those without children who earn over the average wage bracket (AU$57,400) should cough up the extra cash. Those with a family, he says, should pay approximately $5000 less.
“By shifting the tax burden from parents to non-parent, we will help give America’s children a better start in life, and we will help correct a simple injustice,” he writes.
“We all benefit from the work of parents. Each new generation reinvigorates our society with its youthful vim and vigour.”
According to a study by the National Centre for Social and Economic Modelling, the pinch of a tighter economy means it’ll cost you around $400,000 to raise a child until the age of 21. Middle-income families were hit with the biggest increases, with spending up by 50 per cent from 2007.
It’s a noble gesture and Salam has good intentions. While the days of the Baby Bonus are well and truly over, the Federal Government replaced the one-off payment with a rate increase of the Family Tax Benefit. This means that as of March 1, 2014, parents receive a $2000 payment for their first child. For any subsequent children the payment is a lesser $1000. Wonder where that’s coming from? Oh that’s right. Our tax dollars. Then there’s Paid Parental Leave, where a new parent is allowed a maximum 18-weeks off work at a minimum wage salary of $622.10 per week. Then there’s the Parenting Payment for single parents or guardians, and the Dad & Partner Pay scheme, which gives dads two weeks of government-funded pay based on minimum wage. None of which is available in the United States.
So while it’s all fine and dandy to lump the financial woes of family onto those without, it’s important to note that we’re already doing our bit — and paying a higher marginal tax rate while we’re at it.
That’s not the tax we pay on the extra bits; public schools, parks, health care and childcare subsidies. What do you think?
Some extracts taken from news.com.au
Des’ree uncovers the meaning of Life…
“I don’t want to see a ghost, it’s a sight that I fear most, rather have a piece of toast, watch the evening news. Life. Oh life. Oh life. Oh life. Doo doo doo doo.”
Jewel sings about that most common of experiences: when people insist your tiny tiny hands belong to them…
“My hands they’re small I know, and they’re not yours, they are my own.”
Snap ‘90s dance classic Rhythm is a Dancer - Sure it rhymes, but we’re serious as hepatitis when we say it just doesn’t sound right to us (sorry everybody)…
“I’m serious as cancer when I say: rhythm is a dancer.”
Sporty Spice Melanie C relates to the common man in her touching homelessness ballad, If That Were Me….
“Is it lonely where you are, sleeping in between parked cars? I couldn’t live without my phone — you don’t even have a home.”
Rihanna - Someone introduce the girl to air freshener…
“Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it.”
Donna Summer has a lot of feelings about baked goods in the overwrought Macarthur Park….
“Someone left the cake out in the rain ! I don’t think that I can take it ’cause it took so long to bake it . And I’ll never have that recipe again … Oh, no!”
Britney Spears & the touching cyber-ballad Email My Heart in 1999 — it’s possible she didn’t yet quite understand how emails worked…
“I’m sorry, oh so sorry, can’t you give me one more chance to make it all up to you. Email my heart and say our love will never die.”
Destiny’s Child weren’t such Independent Women in their 1999 hit Bills, Bills, Bills…
“Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my telephone bills? Can you pay my automo’ bills? Then maybe we can chill. I don’t think you do, so you and me are through.”
Janet Jackson makes sweet menstrual music on her 2007 single Feedback…
“My swag is serious, I’m heavy like a first-day period.”
Eminem’s Ass Like That. Handy hint: these lyrics could also double as super-romantic wedding vows…
“I ain’t never seen an ass like that. The way you move it, you make my pee-pee go doing-doing-doing.’’
Madonna on I Love New York. Madge, this is just lazy rhyming. Pork, fork and cork were all available…
“I don’t like cities, but I like New York. Other places make me feel like a dork.”
Paula Cole’s Dawson’s Creek theme I Don’t Wanna Wait. Were we all too busy wondering when Dawson and Joey would hook up to realise the theme tune was complete gibberish? …
“So open up your morning light and say a little prayer for I. You know that if we are to stay alive and see the peace in every eye.”
Avril gets oddly indignant in the opening lines of her early hit Sk8er Boi. Simmer down please Avril…
“He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it anymore obvious? He was a punk, she did ballet. What more can I say?”
The Killers pose the big questions in their 2008 hit Human. While Brandon Flowers’ small hands are cold, we can confirm that they are not yours, they are his own…
“Are we human? Or are we dancer? My sign is vital. My hands are cold.”
Rebecca Black’s classic days-of-the-week jam Friday….
“Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday . Today i-is Friday, Friday We-we-we so excited, we so excited , we gonna have a ball today . Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes after ... wards . I don’t want this weekend to end!”
Chris Brown showing off his considerable charms on Look at Me Now…
“And she accidentally slip and fall on my d**k . Oops, I said ‘on my d**k’ . I ain’t really mean to say ‘on my d**k ’, but since we’re talking about my d**k , all of you haters say hi to it!”
Shakira’s Whenever, Wherever. If Shakira and Brandon Flowers had a baby, would it have the world’s smallest breasts and coldest hands? Something to think about…
“Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains.”
ITV Studios have a couple of television projects in the pipeline and are looking for interesting and eclectic characters who are:
* In a risky or dangerous job (think underwater welding or tree lopping)
* Have an interesting or different hobby (think beer can collecting)
* Spend their days fortune hunting (quirky second hand goods)
If you consider yourself a candidate in any of the following, or know someone who might be, we would love to hear from you!
Please contact Georgie on 0413 413 519 or Georgie.email@example.com
Damn girl! There’s no photoshopping done on these pictures as Kim Kardashian shows off her world famous butt while on holiday in Thailand.
Kim’s been getting a lot of flak lately what with the controversy over the Vogue cover, and the (untrue sounding) rumours that Kanye West is having to call in favours to get her invited to the same parties as him, but let’s all just take a minute to say wow, she looks good!