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Des’ree uncovers the meaning of Life…

996RNJ Des ree 001

 “I don’t want to see a ghost, it’s a sight that I fear most, rather have a piece of toast, watch the evening news. Life. Oh life. Oh life. Oh life. Doo doo doo doo.”

Jewel sings about that most common of experiences: when people insist your tiny tiny hands belong to them…

“My hands they’re small I know, and they’re not yours, they are my own.”

Snap ‘90s dance classic Rhythm is a Dancer - Sure it rhymes, but we’re serious as hepatitis when we say it just doesn’t sound right to us (sorry everybody)…

“I’m serious as cancer when I say: rhythm is a dancer.”

Sporty Spice Melanie C relates to the common man in her touching homelessness ballad, If That Were Me….

“Is it lonely where you are, sleeping in between parked cars? I couldn’t live without my phone — you don’t even have a home.”

Rihanna - Someone introduce the girl to air freshener…

“Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it.”

Donna Summer has a lot of feelings about baked goods in the overwrought Macarthur Park….

“Someone left the cake out in the rain ! I don’t think that I can take it ’cause it took so long to bake it . And I’ll never have that recipe again … Oh, no!”

Britney Spears & the touching cyber-ballad Email My Heart in 1999 — it’s possible she didn’t yet quite understand how emails worked…

“I’m sorry, oh so sorry, can’t you give me one more chance to make it all up to you. Email my heart and say our love will never die.”

Destiny’s Child weren’t such Independent Women in their 1999 hit Bills, Bills, Bills…

“Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my telephone bills? Can you pay my automo’ bills? Then maybe we can chill. I don’t think you do, so you and me are through.”

Janet Jackson makes sweet menstrual music on her 2007 single Feedback…

“My swag is serious, I’m heavy like a first-day period.”

Eminem’s Ass Like That. Handy hint: these lyrics could also double as super-romantic wedding vows…

 “I ain’t never seen an ass like that. The way you move it, you make my pee-pee go doing-doing-doing.’’

Madonna on I Love New York. Madge, this is just lazy rhyming. Pork, fork and cork were all available…

“I don’t like cities, but I like New York. Other places make me feel like a dork.”

Paula Cole’s Dawson’s Creek theme I Don’t Wanna Wait. Were we all too busy wondering when Dawson and Joey would hook up to realise the theme tune was complete gibberish? …

 “So open up your morning light and say a little prayer for I. You know that if we are to stay alive and see the peace in every eye.”

Avril gets oddly indignant in the opening lines of her early hit Sk8er Boi. Simmer down please Avril…

 “He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it anymore obvious? He was a punk, she did ballet. What more can I say?”

The Killers pose the big questions in their 2008 hit Human. While Brandon Flowers’ small hands are cold, we can confirm that they are not yours, they are his own…

 “Are we human? Or are we dancer? My sign is vital. My hands are cold.”

Rebecca Black’s classic days-of-the-week jam Friday….

 “Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday . Today i-is Friday, Friday We-we-we so excited, we so excited , we gonna have a ball today . Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes after ... wards . I don’t want this weekend to end!”

Chris Brown showing off his considerable charms on Look at Me Now…

 “And she accidentally slip and fall on my d**k . Oops, I said ‘on my d**k’ . I ain’t really mean to say ‘on my d**k ’, but since we’re talking about my d**k , all of you haters say hi to it!”

Shakira’s Whenever, Wherever. If Shakira and Brandon Flowers had a baby, would it have the world’s smallest breasts and coldest hands? Something to think about…

 “Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains.”

Source: news.com.au

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